


All that remains

by Eafee



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:21:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29633877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eafee/pseuds/Eafee
Summary: That question. Something in Mina's tone, it had shifted for a moment. Annie heard it, almost felt it, it scratched her brain, halted her senses for a moment. But then she didn't care."No." she answered, rather separate from her thoughts, coming out before she could even consider it. She had no reason to lie, after all."I don't."It was silent again. A moment of nothing. But the whistling of a warm breeze that had picked up. Yet Annie still felt it, that tinge in her.Is it what Reiner and Bertholdt felt?---ORThe random, thoughtless things that echo through Annie's mind. Even now.
Kudos: 5





	All that remains

The initial adrenaline had subsided, by the time she returned to the dorms. Having spoken with her fellow fugitives, the sun was soon to rise. Annie hoped to slip in quietly as possible, as if she had never been gone at all. 

As she did, of course, someone had to be up. A brunette- she knew the one. She clocked Annie as she snuck back in. Raining her freckled ugly, snout to look away from her 'bunk mate' and look smugly over to her.

"Been with your lover boy?"

Annie simply ignored her, heading through towards her own kip space. Luckily, the enquirer was quick to let her be. 

She allowed herself to collapse down into bed, though knowing she'd be rushed awake within the hour.

It was odd, finally she was at peace, yet she just couldn't sleep.

Her mind was hyper to all around her. The steady breathing of the girl next to her, the oak slabs above her head. The caw of morning birds and sound of a fly, buzzing around the barracks roof. Even the echoes of the dripping taps of the showers a couple of feet away from the dorms. All this noise.

Annie just wanted some silence.

\---

It was a rather humid day, mid summer. One that the trainees had spent a majority of in a cramped classroom. Focusing on theory after weeks of intense practical training.

Now it was early evening, the sun soon to set. As such it had cooled. Just a little, just enough to be bearable. 

The second the days work was up, Annie headed directly for the girls dormitory. Only once she arrived at the door, pushing it open, she clocked the blonde and the brunette, and quickly stepped back. 

As tired as she was, on this day, she decided she wasn't going to put herself up for interacting with the tall one, known for being snarky and interrogatory. Not for a mere twenty minutes of shut eye. Instead, she allowed herself to fall down on the porch steps, her limbs collapsing and a sigh escaping her lungs, as the pressure of keeping her upright was released from her joints. She began blinking rapidly as she tried to maintain consciousness, though she was certainly hazed. 

Truthfully, she was still exhausted from the night before, having spent what little hours she should have got rest snooping for Intel around town. Only that's not exactly something she could explain away easily, so for the most part, she just had to grin and bear it. Metaphorically, at least. 

Reiner and Bertholdt? Well, they'd slept like logs, of course they had. She could tell just by looking at them. Annie watched from afar, slumped against the wooden steps. As the two of them laughed along, playing with the nice little band of friends they had formed on the training grounds. 

She could see In the distance, they were racing one another. Such juvenile games, as if they were children, not soldiers. Of course, being most immature of their little pack, Eren and long face had ended up in a head to head. When both ended up at the finish line about the same time, they were quick to start wrestling one another in frustration.

Annie allowed herself to snigger, as she watched the Ackerman rush over to stop the two of them, the pitiful mother figure she was. the others only watched from a distance, some laughing at their own stupidity. Such a typical, meaningless afternoon it was to them. As if they hadn't a care in this world. 

Part of her wondered. How either Reiner or Bertholdt could stand it, buddying up with their victims. Whilst all Annie did was watch from afar.

Those victims-so quick to butt heads. After the first few weeks of her having to coldly brush them off, most of them had got the message and left her alone. Still, they were a colourful bunch. The type who refuse to let themselves go unacknowledged. A bunch of idiots... Admittedly capable, yet so naive... 

So called devils? More like cattle, pathetically playing soldier and waiting to be eaten. 

Annie thought about the look in their eyes, as they mindlessly wasted away one of their few free hours. They played stupid games with one another, trained along side eachother. These people were yet to know the true horror that every day, every hour of their lives were leading them towards. They weren't going to be soldiers. They didn't stand a chance, not in this cruel world. Yet here they were, on this sunny afternoon, despite their circumstance, hope filled and living. 

But they were living. For now.

It seemed nice. She thought.

Yet simultaneously sickening to the core.

Perhaps it was because she was absorbed in her own thoughts. Or her sheer exhaustion affecting her senses. But she realised soon one of those in front of her had gone missing from the group. It was the creaking, and the feeling of steps upon the oak beneath her that Annie put one and two together. Raising her line of vision towards the figure heading towards her.

Annie stopped herself from rolling her eyes, only blinking as the other girl grinned, sitting down next to her.

After a brief silence, one Annie made sure to appreciate. The girl began to speak, and Annie pretended to listen. 

Mina Carolina.

This was just great.

Annie knew Mina-heck, she figured it was safe to say everyone in this wretched place had been made to know of Mina by now. She was the perky and friendly type, like an annoying puppy, and she'd made it her place to get chummy with near everyone in the division, it seemed. Annie would see her, joking around with anyone and everyone. When she did, all she could think was 'thank god that isn't me'.

One would wonder where she found the time. She wasn't all that remarkable in training, nor did she seem particularly bright. Knowing what little she did about this place, Annie figured Mina wasn't likely to stand a chance at a long life, nevermind a fulfilling one. Which made her an idiot.

But that also made her harmless. Harmless, and so damn happy in her own blindness. 

Whilst most people had taken Annie's snappy replies, or lack of any at all, as a clear signal she didn't want to know them. For some reason it seemed to just go straight over this girl's head. Or worse yet, she didn't care. She couldn't seem to go a week without being nagged into a conversation with this girl at least once. And at dinner, near every night at this point. It's as if she would find any excuse to sit by her. To try and make conversation with the other. After the first couple times, trying to get her to clear off, Annie had given up caring.

But it made her wonder. Why would someone so well known and sociable choose to sit in the far corner, alone with a silent outcast who made it clear she didn't particularly like her doing so?

Annie could hazard a guess, and call it pity. Extremely ill founded pity, but still, she supposed it a sign of genuine generosity. 

It seemed she assumed Annie was just shy, or the lonely, angsty type just begging for attention. Of course, if she was capable of comprehending the reasons why Annie was avoiding those she was masked to be peers with, that pity would surely be redundant...

Part of Annie liked the pity, as much as she'd refuse to admit it. She reckoned she earned at least some of it. Even if it wasn't for the right reasons. 

But that didn't change the fact; Mina was annoying. Very, very annoying. And, the even worse fact...

Annie had no idea how to interact with other teenage girls. 

Even if he was the highest form of idiot in existence, Reiner was right about one thing. Annie didn't blend in. She didn't try to, truthfully there seemed no point. And if it meant fooling around with those she'd inevitably see brutally eradicated, she saw no point. What reason did the people here have to suspect her anyway? They know nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

She only wanted to go home. Nothing else. It was that simple. 

"- And so that's why I told Marco to get some guts! What's the worst that could happen if he talks to Jean... Annie?"

Upon the call of her own name, Annie was snapped back to attention, escaping the depths of her thoughts in an instant. She squinted her eyes as she looked towards the other girl, before trying to hazard a guess to exactly what Mina could have been on about.

She'd heard the name Marco... And Jean- long face. Those two she knew by name... They were somewhat chummy... But what did guts have to do with it. Had they been fighting? Why did that affect Mina-

"Yes. I'm sure it's nice to have boys fighting over you." she responded without much further thought. That included in her tone, which remained monotone and automatic. Perhaps a mistake, she came to realise as the other girl reacted to her thoughtless speech. 

Unsurprisingly. Mina's face was quick to turn a plum shade, covering her blushed cheeks as she let out a surprised squeak, before a chuckle.

"That's not exactly how it is, Annie."

"Oh...sorry."

Upon the incredibly rare, thoughtless apology coming from Annie. Mina seemed to allow her laughter to break out, seemingly finding humour in Annie's mindless state. But she was too exhausted to properly think. Nor to properly emote... Far too tired and unwilling to act. 

As Mina calmed herself, she looked to Annie, who had been blankly looking to her for the entire time. As she rehitched her breath, she seemed less so inclined to go on, and explain the story she'd truly been telling. Instead, she looked back to where she'd just been. To where Annie had been ogling. 

"I saw you watching us." Mina mused "Didn't you want to join in?"

"Playing games like children? There's no point." she squinted harsh, as the light continued to avaid her sights.

"Really? Because it kind of looked as if you did... Maybe just a little?" she mused.

"... You're just wearing yourself out, to fail evening training."

Annie supposed that was quite humorous, considering the evident state she was in herself. The hypocrisy clearly wasn't lost on Mina, who let on a smirk. 

"...You look exhausted."

"I am." Annie responded. 

"You haven't been sleeping?" 

"Not well. It's too warm." she snapped back, quickly, automatic with her excuse. All the while avoiding eye contact, looking straight ahead. 

"... You really don't like me. Do you?"

That question. Something in Mina's tone, it had shifted for a moment. Annie heard it, almost felt it, it scratched her brain, halted her senses for a moment. But then she didn't care. 

"No." she answered, rather separate from her thoughts, coming out before she could even consider it. She had no reason to lie, after all.  
"I don't."

It was silent again. A moment of nothing. But the whistling of a warm breeze that had picked up. Yet Annie still felt it, that tinge in her.

Is it what Reiner and Bertholdt felt?

That tinge. Whether it was guilt. Or it was some deep part of her, unaware of her reality. Perhaps unaware by its own will...

That tinge stung. But she'd learnt to endure it by now.

Why was she the only one enduring it? 

Mina didn't say anything else for a while. Yet she stayed. She stayed and she watched Annie, as the gears in her head ticked on, as she fell back into her thoughts. 

When she spoke up once more, her tone changed once again. Now with a clarity, and a wistfulness some might call warming.

"No, You do."

Annie slowly turned her head back to see Mina, see the smile on her face. That knowing, smug smile. It said 'your not so slick', that her face was readable. Annie wasn’t sure she was exactly right to be so confident in that assumption she made, but then again, she wasn’t so sure it was really a wrong one. The look almost brought Annie to break into a nervous laugh. Almost, had she not enough control over herself. Instead, she simply raised her brows, trying to look doubtful, that only brought Mina to laughing again.

That laugh. It lemented itself over time. So constant... Becoming more and more familiar with coming time. 

Until one day, it was snuffed out in an instant. 

It was expected. And in no way had Annie considered doing anything to stop it. Yet now, after the fact. That laugh echoed through her mind. Or more so, the fact it would erode here peace and quiet ever again. 

She hadn't expected that. The noise continued. She kept thinking she could hear it, but she couldn't be... 

She wished it would be silent. 

Days went on. They cleaned corpses from the street. Familiar faces now charred, those innocent cattle now realising how helpless were. How helpless they had always been. Something had changed in their eyes. 

The day of the disposal. A mass cremation. Annie watched the flames. Those familiar faces, now sundered and burned to all but ash, crackling away to nothingness in a dark, dark cloud. A cloud that blocked any view of that deeply blue sky. 

It was Armin, who Annie had found. Or more so he'd found her. He stood by her side, as she kept her eyes firmly on the flames. Only thoughts of him entered. Of all people, someone as useless as him... How was he still alive?! 

She remembered, he was the one who told them... 

It was as he was about to speak, she thought aloud above the beginning of his words. 

"Do you reckon it was painful for them, Armin?" she asked. A foolish question. One the time it took before he answered seemed he wasn't all too happy to respond to. 

"... I think that's undeniable." he admitted. But of course he did, it'd be pathetic not to. "...but don't you think their sacrifices were worthwhile, for the steps forward we take in aiding the cause of humanity."

Aiding the cause of humanity? How was this aiding anybody?

Just more bodies, more worthless deaths for a cause so futile. 

They'll never even know. Just how futile it was.  
It was well and truly hopeless. But that was something Annie had already known. 

If she'd known. Why hadn't she expected this. How it weighed on her, differently to before. 

It all kept echoing.

The screams. The begging for help. Marco… the image of his face, the confusion...

And the laughter. It wouldn't go away... 

Only now, the image it brought with it wasn’t half as innocent. No, bloody and disfigured remains of someone who never stood a chance. It brought her stomach to ache. The reality of her actions. That laugh taunted her, invaded her headspace, and she continued to justify that it was out of her hands. It reminded her, almost enough, to make her question the ideals she’d vowed herself to. The screams, the calls for help, and the laughing...It all made her feel sick.

The real question, then, is why didn't she want it to go away? 

"... No. I don't."

That was all either of them said. All they could. Yet they remained, standing by the fire. Silence. 

Annie finally got the silence she wanted. 

She got it in abundance. Silence, and blindness... Numbness. And absolute stillness. 

\---

In a prism of her own crystallised creation, she stayed. Time stood still, hours into days, days to hours. She remained stagnant, frozen as time moved on around her. Yet she remained. 

At some point, voices started to return to her, they were muffled, but familiar. She could just about hear it, the ramblings of a hopeless maneater. And the stories... Told by a narrator she hardly believed was still around. 

Those one sided conversations were brief, though as long as they could be with one party incapable of replying. Then, it was back to silence. Cold, and unnerving. Sometimes she wished she could, just open her mouth, spill out all the thoughts festering within her over flowing mind. But she was stagnant, rotting and wasting with every passing moment. She couldn't move, she couldn't see, breathe. Here and now, she truly knew what it was to not be alive. 

Festering. Dying. She felt the time slowly moving ahead, every moment, her entire body screaming at her to move, to awaken and leave this horrid existence. But she couldn't, she had to suppress herself. But it hurt, it hurt all over, and was painfully numb all at the same time.

And even so, the sounds still echoed. She remained. She would remain for however long she had too…

But she could still hear it.

That damn laugh. One of a thousand different voices. Different feelings, and memories bottled within them. All of them were trapped in there with her, haunting her for all time.

**Author's Note:**

> So I may or may not have written this one shot on pure impulse. And figured that Id post it since I haven't done so in a while.
> 
> If your at this point on the page, I'm going to assume you've read it. So thank you :) Have a good day!
> 
> Eafee <3


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